Should Have Ordered The Sleeping Model

Lil Miss P is just over 3 weeks old now.

And I should have known when I decided to procreate with my husband that she would come without the sleep setting.

It was written in her DNA really. My husband was a horrible sleeper as a child, as was/is my step son (still at 9 years old).

The fact that Lil Miss P is giving us the run around when it comes to sleeping is no surprise, though no less frustrating for it.

In her short little life I’ve already read a million and one articles about how to get her to sleep more consistently. I’ve also grilled my midwife on the matter.

There seems to be only one common answer – “She’s a baby, and some babies just don’t sleep that well”.

How does that help me???

There’ve been plenty of other suggestions and possible solutions but they all seem to end with the same warning “Some babies just don’t sleep well”.

It seems I have one of those babies and by all accounts her only hope is time. Supposedly, as she gets older, she might sleep.

And she might not.

I will be honest and say that my baby’s lack of inclination to sleep has caused me quite a bit of frustration. My perfectionist, control freak tendencies have been completely short circuited with the arrival of this little human and not being able to predict or program some kind of sleeping pattern is pushing a few buttons.

It’s all a wonderful life lesson for me.

Struggling with infertility, and then having a few issues in later pregnancy and during Lil Miss P’s delivery had already tested and broken many of my old controlled ways, but raising a newborn is pushing all sorts of new limits that I obviously need to let go of fast.

I can’t make this work how I want it to. I can’t control the outcome or figure it all out by researching, reading, studying and applying.

All my corporate training, all those years of managing and strategizing, of plotting, planning and implementing mean NOTHING in the world of raising a newborn.

This tiny little human is here to learn so much, and yet she is teaching her Mama everything so far.

How to let go, how to be patient, how to be flexible and adjust, and how to trust that it will all work out in the end, even if you don’t know how that will happen today.

Oh and how to survive on 2 hours sleep.

It wasn’t that I had my head in the sand when it came to how challenging it would be to have a baby in the house, to be a new mama to this tiny infant, I just didn’t take into account how out of control and how lost, frustrated and clueless I would feel at times.

It’s striping me down and making me start from scratch with a whole new empty toolbox that I have to slowly fill with my new skills.

It’s confronting, but exciting too.

I love to learn, and I have the most special, beautiful girl to learn with.

So let the learning begin.

And can we start with learning how to sleep?!

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